


Holdfast

by therealmissmurder



Category: Bandom, Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 10:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealmissmurder/pseuds/therealmissmurder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Has anyone seen Alan? We’re leaving soon…” There was no use asking. Everyone had gone to sleep at least an hour ago. And, if it wasn’t three in the morning, I might’ve cared more about the ginger’s absence. I knew he would eventually find his way back to the bus before we left. He always did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holdfast

My head is spinning because I can’t find Alan. With twenty minutes left until bus call the band and crew decides it’s up to me to find him. I always assume he’s gotten into the worst when things like this happen. I have been texting him almost constantly for the last hour with no reply. A sick feeling has washed over me and my mind is reeling with the worst possible conclusions.

“I’m going out to try and find him,” I tell whoever’s still awake. “It’d be nice if one of you decided to help me,” I add bitterly before grabbing my coat and leaving. It’s nearing three in the morning. It’s cold and it’s snowing. We’re in Chicago and that, above all is what scares me. Too many murders… Too many opportunities for Alan to get himself into trouble. Big trouble.

“Alan?” I yell, walking around the venue. I keep calling his name, shoving my freezing hands into my pockets. I hear sirens off in the distance. I try not to imagine Alan in the back of an ambulance but I do, and it makes my stomach churn. I am going to kill him when I find him. If I find him.  
“Alan?” I try again, cupping my hands around my mouth. I keep walking, looking in back alleys and outside of bars. I’m about to head inside the venue when I hear crying.  
“Alan? Al--” As I step into the alleyway just right of the venue, I see his lanky frame curled up on the pavement. Panicking, I run over to him.

“What happened?” I ask, anxiously, helping him sit up. He smells like cigarettes and pot. There’s a burnt out joint a few inches away from where I found him. He is shivering and clutches onto me like a koala bear.  
“The walls, Aus,” he whispers. “... The shadow people.”  
I squeeze my eyes closed and hold the guitarist a little bit closer. The pot was laced and now he’s having a bad trip.  
“There’s no shadow people, Al. Let’s get you back to the bus.” He’s reluctant but I manage to pick him off the ground. He takes a few steps before grabbing ahold of my hand tightly. I sigh and focus on getting the both of us back to the tour bus before they leave.

Alan is still out of it when he climb inside. He refuses to go back to the bunks because it’s too dark. So we settle down on the couches in the front. He immediately curls himself up to my side. He looks like a terrified child. I’ve never seen Alan like this and it tugs at my heart.  
“You’re okay now. I’ve got you,” I tell this to him just as much as I tell this to myself. He’s safe now and he’s not badly hurt. Slowly, Alan starts to come down. His grip on me relaxes and he looks more sleepy than scared. Still, I don’t plan on leaving his side until I know he’s completely okay.  
“I’m sorry, Austin,” he tells me quietly. We’ve been on the road for about an hour now and this is the first coherent thing he’s said since I found him.  
“For what?” I ask, moving away only so I could see his face.  
“Scaring you so bad.”  
I laugh, shaking my head, “It’s only because I love you, stupid. Just don’t do it again,” I say, only half joking. Although, maybe he has a point. I worry about Alan more than anyone else. He’s the only one I could tolerate clinging onto me like this for an hour. His pupils have shrunken back to their normal size, finally. I am so relieved whatever the pot was laced with didn’t cause him to overdose.

Alan is full of surprises though and he looks at me. He looks scared again, but a different kind of scared.  
“I love you too, Aus,” he says with a smile beaming across his face. He reaches over, grabbing Squidgy from behind me and gently places him on my head. I start to laugh but Alan leans in and kisses me. I am so flustered that I barely think enough to kiss him back. Squidgy falls off my head and rolls onto the floor. I am about the same shade of pink as the toy.  
“Fuck, what was that laced with?” I tease.

After that, there is a long silence. The bus is quiet. I can hear the hollow typing as Adam edits photos on his laptop. After a minute, I eagerly grab Alan’s face and smash my lips up against his again. He tastes like cigarettes but I like it because he also tastes like him. Alan climbs into my lap and my itchy fingers grab at his hips that he starts grinding into mine. It takes a great amount of effort to keep myself quiet.

He pulls away for a moment, panting. I can see the need in his eyes and without a second thought I’m pulling us both towards the back lounge. As soon as the door is locked I push Alan up against it, using my teeth on his neck. I am beyond exhausted but that doesn’t matter at this point. Alan pushes me back onto the couches. First he takes off my shirt, then his. It doesn’t take long until we’re both down to nothing. Alan is on his stomach, digging through the large stash of condoms and lube we keep back here. He hands me back both.  
“You want me to…?” I ask like it has just occurred to me what this has been leading into.  
Alan’s nodding, practically begging as I slip the condom on over my erection.

“Tell me to stop if you need me to,” I say, making him promise before I do anything else. I kiss in between his shoulder blades before pouring a generous amount of lube onto my fingers. When he says he’s ready, I allow one finger to slide inside his asshole and then another.  
“Aus… tin,” the ginger stummers. With a smirk I continue to finger him until he’s practically shaking.

“I want you… Please,” the boy begs. And how can I say no to that?  
Once I was sure there was enough lube that it wouldn’t cause Alan any pain, I slowly push myself inside. I slide in fine but it’s how tight he is that makes me moan. I hold myself steady with one hand and twist my fingers into Alan’s hair with the other. I rock in and out of him slowly, first trying to locate his prostate. I know I’ve found it when Alan chokes out a cross between a moan and a scream. That’s when I start to speed up.  
“Austin!” Alan is doing his best to keep quiet, and hoarsely moans my name. “I’m close… I’m going to--” Our breath hitches at almost the exact same moment. I thrust into him one last time, hard, and we both cum.  
We both roll over, panting and I can’t believe what just happened. Alan closes his eyes and lays down while I clean up and put my clothes back on.  
“Where are you going?” he asks, opening one eye.  
“Sleep,” I say, with an exhausted smile. Alan gets to his feet and tugs on his boxers.  
“I do really love you,” he says and I lean down and kiss his forehead.  
“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I did not start this thinking it was going to be smutty, but then it did so here.


End file.
